Don't Touch That!

Evenings with Auntie Jan are back in session. I brought lots of goodies back with me, like pencils, crayons, games, books, etc., so we’ve been having a good time writing, coloring, and playing – but only after the homework is finished (theoretically).

The office now has a pencil sharpener mounted on the corner of one of the desks, so I sharpened the new American flag pencils (packages of 10 in the $1.00 section at Target for 4th of July!) and sharpened them to a fine point for each child. They wanted to know how I got the pencils so sharp, so I took them in the office to see the sharpener. Everyone had to try it and they were amazed. When the first pencil came out of the sharpener with a point, they all cheered and jumped up and down clapping their hands.

Pencils here are generally sharpened with a razor blade. This is done by the child and the razor blade is part of her school kit from the time she starts school – at age 5 or so. Fingernails and toenails are also trimmed using a razorblade. Quinn, a local 8-year old, was sitting on the porch just this morning, trimming her nails by running the edge of the blade under the nail at the corner and then just peeling it off. Seeing these things and several others - like small children (4 or 5) walking alone along the side of the road or walking to school and crossing busy streets; small boys (6 or 7) deftly handling machetes, pre-teen girls carrying 10 kg (22 lbs) or more on their heads to sell water sachets on the street – makes me wonder about our perception of children’s capabilities in much of the “developed world”.

My father has told me (many times) that, at home in South Dakota, it was his job to milk the cows morning and night when he was six. I’ve always believed him, but sort of wondered if there wasn’t a bit of the “walking-five-miles-in-the-snow-to-school-uphill-both-ways” in it as well. I’ll admit it was hard for me to imagine a 6-year old with the ability, dexterity, responsibility, or attention span to have such a big job. However, after seeing all these self-sufficient, confident, and capable children just doing what is normal in their culture, I’m pretty sure Dad was doing a great job yanking those udders. It was completely normal in his culture, too. Although, if he had been here, he’d have also carried the bucket of milk to the house on his head! (Hi, Dad! Happy Father's Day!)

So, now I have to ask myself, why, just a generation or two later, do most Americans so underestimate children’s capacity for challenge and responsibility – and then turn around and spend so much time trying to instill in them a sense of self-esteem?

Sure, there is a risk a child might be injured doing challenging jobs, or learning to perform detailed manual tasks, or handling sharp implements. But, I’ve fallen down walking down the street, nearly cut my pinkie finger off while slicing an avocado, and seared my thumb white while making a grilled cheese sandwich – all as an adult of 25, 35, and 45. Some of my friends will tell you I’m not a good example because I’m a card-carrying klutz, but still, it’s about training, attention, and respect for the equipment and dangers.

So, go on, America, let’s teach them to do real, challenging, meaningful chores and activities that make a contribution to the family and their own well-being – as much and as soon as they are able. Being recognized for performance at the limit of one’s potential is the best self-esteem builder there is. Just think of all the energy we’ll save by not having to pat them on the back and applaud every time they manage to find the laundry hamper with their socks or line up four rocks in a row.
XO