Upon my return from Europe, I was rapidly informed that one of “my kids” was dead. He was three years old. I couldn’t wrap my head around it and the questions “why?” and “how?” had no answers.
The details are still sketchy and the mother still has not returned (as of 27 Sept) from the Volta Region where the boy died and was buried. The grapevine version says that on the Monday after I left to Europe, the boy and his sister (12) traveled with their mother to the Volta Region to visit family. He was fine and had not been sick. On Thursday, he complained of feeling cold and they took him to the hospital. However, he died in the car on the way.
That’s it.
Having watched far too much Law & Order and experienced blessedly little pre-mature death, in a land striving for healthcare for all – I had a lot of questions. What did the doctor say once they reached the hospital? (Nothing – they had no idea why he died) Did they do an autopsy? (Unknown, but unlikely) Was there any sort of investigation? (Unknown, but unlikely) and so on… None was answered satisfactorily.
On Law & Order, they would first determine a cause of death – I don’t know of any disease, even in Ghana, where the only symptom is feeling cold and that results in death before any other symptoms manifest, so why not at least a hypothesis and some tests. Then, sad to say, the first place they would look (the L&O detectives) would be at the parents. In this family, the daughter, when I first arrived here, knew and talked far too much about sex, including describing a variety of acts of molestation she claimed one 8-year old boy was perpetrating on smaller children. I wondered and agonized later whether what she was describing were more likely personal experiences outwardly projected. The mother, who’s chest and arms show a pattern of what appear to be ritual burns, was beaten badly one night. The next morning, when Whit and Max pointed to the huge “Stop Domestic Violence” billboard on the corner and asked her why she didn’t report it, she laughed and said that billboard was just a way for the government to spend grants they had been given by NGOs. The police would do nothing.
So, I began to wonder, in a family where violence seems to be the norm – and the outward signs of child abuse, say, shaken baby syndrome, can be virtually non-existent – in a country where the police and justice system do little or nothing to protect everyday people from violence and crime – where death is commonplace and accepted with a “tragic-but-what-can-we-do” attitude and people do show up at the hospital dead of malaria and yellow fever and typhoi
d and meningitis and various other undiagnosed illnesses - it would be very easy to rush a dead child to the hospital, knowing there would be no real questions.
I’m not saying what it was or it wasn’t – only that I cannot get my head or my heart around this senseless loss of a child who had only recently made the transition that every mother of boys knows well – from baby to small boy, with a tiny swagger, and a mischievous smile. And I realize the only picture I have of him is a grainy, cropped-from-a-group photo a year and a half old. Is his existence already a memory as life in Ghana goes on? Where is the outrage?
XO
The details are still sketchy and the mother still has not returned (as of 27 Sept) from the Volta Region where the boy died and was buried. The grapevine version says that on the Monday after I left to Europe, the boy and his sister (12) traveled with their mother to the Volta Region to visit family. He was fine and had not been sick. On Thursday, he complained of feeling cold and they took him to the hospital. However, he died in the car on the way.
That’s it.
Having watched far too much Law & Order and experienced blessedly little pre-mature death, in a land striving for healthcare for all – I had a lot of questions. What did the doctor say once they reached the hospital? (Nothing – they had no idea why he died) Did they do an autopsy? (Unknown, but unlikely) Was there any sort of investigation? (Unknown, but unlikely) and so on… None was answered satisfactorily.
On Law & Order, they would first determine a cause of death – I don’t know of any disease, even in Ghana, where the only symptom is feeling cold and that results in death before any other symptoms manifest, so why not at least a hypothesis and some tests. Then, sad to say, the first place they would look (the L&O detectives) would be at the parents. In this family, the daughter, when I first arrived here, knew and talked far too much about sex, including describing a variety of acts of molestation she claimed one 8-year old boy was perpetrating on smaller children. I wondered and agonized later whether what she was describing were more likely personal experiences outwardly projected. The mother, who’s chest and arms show a pattern of what appear to be ritual burns, was beaten badly one night. The next morning, when Whit and Max pointed to the huge “Stop Domestic Violence” billboard on the corner and asked her why she didn’t report it, she laughed and said that billboard was just a way for the government to spend grants they had been given by NGOs. The police would do nothing.
So, I began to wonder, in a family where violence seems to be the norm – and the outward signs of child abuse, say, shaken baby syndrome, can be virtually non-existent – in a country where the police and justice system do little or nothing to protect everyday people from violence and crime – where death is commonplace and accepted with a “tragic-but-what-can-we-do” attitude and people do show up at the hospital dead of malaria and yellow fever and typhoi
d and meningitis and various other undiagnosed illnesses - it would be very easy to rush a dead child to the hospital, knowing there would be no real questions.I’m not saying what it was or it wasn’t – only that I cannot get my head or my heart around this senseless loss of a child who had only recently made the transition that every mother of boys knows well – from baby to small boy, with a tiny swagger, and a mischievous smile. And I realize the only picture I have of him is a grainy, cropped-from-a-group photo a year and a half old. Is his existence already a memory as life in Ghana goes on? Where is the outrage?
XO
2 comments:
This is so sad, Jan.
My heart breaks for this family... and for you, Jan. Must be terribly difficult to be a by-stander to such tragedy.
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